Product Review: Lay's Sriracha

So I tried the Chicken & Waffles, and the Cheesy Garlic Bread.  Now, I finally got my hands on the Sriracha.

I've had quite a few people lately tell me they don't know what Sriracha is, so I'll try to explain.  Sriracha sauce is a thick, red, spicy sauce made from chili peppers.  You may have seen it in Thai restaurants, in a clear plastic bottle with a green top and a picture of a rooster.


The chips are coated in a red powder.  The first bite reveals the chili peppers, followed by a little vinegar and a slightly sweet aftertaste.  Then, after the second or third bite, the heat kicks in.  WOOOOOOH!!!!  Nice and spicy!  Not quite as blisteringly hot as the Doritos Dinamita (which we refer to as "the devil's chips") but a good lingering afterburn.

 What can I say?  I'm one of those guys who likes a little pain from my snacks.  The Sriracha have my vote for the Lay's Do Us A Flavor contest.  But, the Cheesy Garlic Bread are definitely a close second!

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 ghosts.

Product Review: Lay's Cheesy Garlic Bread

My second foray into the Lay's Do Us A Flavor contest finalists is Cheesy Garlic Bread.

I'm pleasantly surprised!  The cheese tastes like a rich mozzarella blend, and garlic is not too strong, striking the  perfect balance of the cheese and garlic flavors.

So far, these beat Chicken & Waffles by a landslide.  But there is still Sriracha to try...  Exciting times.

I would definitely buy these again, should they win.

Rating: 4 out of 5 ghosts.

Product Review: Lay's Chicken & Waffles

The three finalists of the Lay's Do Us A Flavor contest were announced recently.  As a chip connoisseur, I of course want to sample each of the three flavors.

The first flavor I am starting with is Chicken & Waffles. 

This is one of those times when I have to put my personal feelings aside and try to be professional.  What am I talking about?  I'm talking about how one of my Lay's Do Us A Flavor suggestions was Sriracha.  But is my name on the bag?  No, it is not.  Do I get a shot at the million?  No, I do not.  Is this a giant conspiracy on par with JFK and fake moon landing?  Time will tell, my friends.  Time. Will. Tell.  They are wise to fear the French Ghost.

On first bite they have a mostly bbq flavor (the chicken, I guess), followed by a sweet maple taste on the finish (the waffle's syrup?)

I am dissapointed.  They actually tasted like burnt waffles.  I don't know if that was on purpose, or if the chips themselves were actually burnt.

Again, let me stress this is not retaliatory.  This flavor just isn't doing it for me.  Stay tuned for more reviews!

Rating: 2 out of 5 ghosts.

The Friendly Beasts - Sufjan Stevens' version.

This is probably my second favorite Christmas song.  Enjoy... and Merry Christmas!

I Heard The Bells on Christmas Day

As we are getting closer to Christmas, I wanted to share one of my favorite Christmas songs.  "I Heard The Bells on Christmas Day" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, as arranged and performed by one of my favorite singer-songwriters, John Gorka.  Here is the poem in it's entirety:

I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

I thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along th'unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And in despair I bowed my head:
'There is no peace on earth, ' I said
'For hate is strong, and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.'

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
'God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men.'

Till, ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Product Review: Pringles Pumpkin Pie Spice

These were given to me today by a co-worker who knows my affinity for unusual potato chips.  I'm pretty sure she is at least part elf, as she is very short, and wants to put maple syrup on everything.

I definitely taste the pumpkin pie spice right away, nutmeg and a little cinnamon.  The potato and salt hit my tongue on the finish.  After eating on this canister sporadically throughout the day, I have reached this conclusion:  I don't like them.

To be fair, I just don't like mixing sweet and salty very much.  I don't like kettle corn style popcorn, for example.  I like my chips to be salty.  I'm also not a pumpkin pie enthusiast either. 

My wife really likes them, so I guess it is subjective.  If you like sweet and salty mixed, or if you really like pumpkin pie, these are good for you.  Not for me.

Rating: 3 out of 5 ghosts. 

Shameless Self Promotion

I got my first bass guitar when I was sixteen years old.  My best friend Adam Randall had been learning to play acoustic six-string guitar the year before.  As soon as I could play a little, I called him up and said, "Wanna jam?" Ever since then we have played music together in some form or another. Dozens of songs, and 4 independently released albums.

What's my point?  Well, we're working on a new album and looking for financial help via www.kickstarter.com. Think of it as a way to pre-order a great indie folk-rock album, as well as supporting a talented local Florida artist.  Watch this and enjoy!

(note: if the video below is not working, click HERE.)

Product Review: Hot Potatoes's Spicy Bloody Mary Potato Chips

Take a minute and read this description that is inscribed on the side of the bag: Spicy Bloody Mary Potato Chips.  Notice the word "HOT," so big and bold.  Sounds exciting, doesn't it?  Unfortunately, just like the kickin' jalapeno ranch chips from Ruffles, the flavor did not live up to the hype.

These are kettle chips, so they are super crunchy and shaped in a variety of lumpy, swirly curls.  The flavor is a mild tomato taste, which my wife says tastes like V8 juice.  (I've never tried V8 because I don't like tomatoes, but I don't mind the flavor of these chips.)  After that, there was a very mild spicy afterburn.  Very, very mild.  And therein lies the problem.

Based on the bold wording and fiery colors of the package, I was expecting my tongue to burst into flames, or something equally as dramatic.  However, the flavors that were there were just barely there.  These chips aren't bad.  If I had just tried them without expecting 'HOT SPICY BLOODY MARY,' I would have liked them more.  I am just a victim of false expectations, I suppose.

Rating: 3 out of 5 ghosts.

Song of the Day: Sun Kil Moon "Carry Me, Ohio"

After receiving some complaints about the lack of music on my blog, I've decided to add a song that I've recently become obsessed with: Sun Kil Moon's "Carry Me, Ohio."  Please... enjoy!

(BTW, this is audio only)

Product vs Product: Sweet Heat Battle!

VS

 You are in for a special treat, folks!  Because I was given two similar themed bags of chips, I decided to do the first ever product versus product battle royale!  Prepare for... SWEET HEAT BATTLE!!!!!!!!!  Sylvia's Restaurant Honey Jalapeno Chips vs Cape Cod Sweet & Spicy Jalapeno Kettle Chips.

Round 1: Texture.  Sylvia's chips were light and crispy.  The Cape Cod chips are "kettle cooked," which are thicker and crunchier than your standard chips.  I'm a fan of kettle chips, so this round goes to Cape Cod.

Round 2: Flavor.  Both of these chips had a decent afterburn from the jalapeno.  The main difference is found in the sweet aspect.  Sylvia's chips have a surprisingly strong flavor of honey, which, also surprisingly, paired extremely well with the spiciness of the jalapeno.  Cape Cod, however, really had no overt sweetness to it, just that faint, mild sweetness most kettle chips have.  This round goes to Sylvia's hands down.

Winner:  Sylvia's Restaurant Honey Jalapeno Chips by a landslide!  So good.

Product Review: Wise Cheez Waffies

This is the first time since I started this blog that a snack actually made me recoil in disgust.  The bag has the audacity to display the phrase "deliciously crispy."  Lies.  LIES!!!

The "cheese sandwich" consists of two sweet, waffle flavored chips with a quarter-inch thick layer of artificial, neon orange "cheez" in between them.  (see below)

The "cheez" is just plain gross.  The texture of it made my stomach turn.  On top of that, the flavor was just so super-tangy and artificial... I'm actually shuddering at the memory.

The "cheez" failed, but the waffle chips themselves were actually pretty tasty.  Very light and thin, with a sweet, sugary flavor. They should just sell the chips by themselves.

If you are willing to take the time to scrape off 95% of the orange abomination, this might be tolerable.  Might.  Unfortunately, I am not willing in the slightest.

Rating: 1 out of 5 ghosts.

Product Review: Herr's Old Bay Potato Chips

This is a pretty straightforward offering from the good folks at Herr's.  Potato chips seasoned with Old Bay seasoning.  Boom.  The challenge for me here is how to describe the flavor of Old Bay to somebody who has never tasted it.

There are a lot of strong flavors going on in each chip.  Vegetable (tomato), citrus, vinegar, and paprika definitely stand out, as well the standard saltiness found in all potato chips.

The first 3 or 4 handfuls tasted really good.  However, after that, the flavoring became so strong that it began to taste unpleasant.  My wife experienced the same thing.  I wound up taking the rest of the bag to work, and my coworkers all said the same thing.  I guess there really can be too much of a good thing.

I have a friend who puts Old Bay seasoning on everything.  If you are that guy, then you need to try these chips.  Otherwise, I recommend you eat these in moderation. 

Rating: 3 out of 5 ghosts.

Movies According to Juju

I stopped by the library on the way home from work today and picked up a few DVDs.  (The library is great, like a poor man's Netflix.)  Juju, my 4-year-old, asked to see the movies.  After inspecting the cover of each one, he came up with these alternative titles:

"Golden Man"

"Rock 'N Roll Man"

"Saw Man"

"Kissy Man"

Product Review: Great Value Buffalo Wing Potato Chips

It's been another long break between blog entries.  One reason for this is I've been busy.  Another reason is I've been lazy.  And, believe it or not, as The French Ghost is getting closer to 40,  I am slightly concerned about my cholesterol.  But only slightly.  ;-)

I was offered the remainder of this bag of Great Value Buffalo Wing chips by one of my coworkers.  After sampling them, I can see why she was eager to get rid of them.

I didn't think it was possible for something to be both spicy and bland at the same time, but they nailed it.  Another coworker (who is a known vegetable enthusiast) described the flavor as "spicy lard."  I find that pretty darned accurate.

The bag was priced at one dollar. At that price, if you're craving chips and only have one dollar... find another dollar in your sofa cushions and buy something else.  Or, forcibly take a dollar from an old lady.  She'll understand.

Rating: 1 out of 5 ghosts.

Product Review: Lay's Spicy Ketchup Potato Chips

I've heard for years that ketchup flavored chips are huge in other countries, like Canada.  Now, I've started noticing them more and more on U.S. soil.  I've tried the non-spicy variety before, so I was pretty excited to see this new offering from Lay's in my local grocery store.

These chips are definitely spicy.  My tongue had a good after-burn going for several minutes (which if you read this blog regularly, you know I like the heat.)  Outside of the spice, though, I was pretty disappointed.  I really didn't get a solid ketchup flavor.  To me, they tasted too much like regular BBQ chips, lust a little less tangy, and with a blast of heat on the finish.  Which is even more unfortunate because I don't really like plain BBQ chips.

Bottom line: If you're really wanting ketchup flavored chips, I would recommend Herr's Heinz Ketchup chips.  These Lay's Spicy Ketchup chips aren't terrible, just not my thing.

Rating: 3 out of 5 ghosts.

Be Careful What You Wish For.

"I Wish I Could" by Dean Walley was one of my favorite books when I was a little boy.  The story is about the different wishes the narrator, a young boy, would like to come true: to be able to fly, or to be a friendly giant, to be able to turn invisible, etc.  Fortunately, my parents kept this book so I could read it to my own kids someday. Which I do.

So, the other night when I finished reading it to my 4-year-old, Juju, I asked him what his wish would be.

He replied, "I wish I had a blowhole on my back that sprayed water.  I would spray water all over everybody.  Then, the water would make a giant splash park, and everybody could play!"

Gross, but still kind of sweet.  I guess it's the thought that counts, right?  Right?

Product Review: Herr's Classic American Hot Dog Chips

I have not blogged for a few weeks.  We started watching the show "Lost," and discovered it is called "Lost" because I lost all my free time, and I lost all motivation to do things other than watch "Lost."  I actually have a long history of watching shows and movies long after they are culturally relevant.  The next thing I'm going to see is some movie about a boat.  I think it's called something like "Ty-tanick?"  I have no idea how it's going to end, so please... no spoilers!

The good folks at Herr's have done it again!  Just in time for the 4th of July comes Classic American Hot Dog potato chips.  I can feel the tension in the air, so I'll cut right to the chase: Do they really taste like hot dogs?

Yes.  Yes they do.  I don't know how they did it, but there is a smokey, meaty-garlic taste, like a hot dog, followed by the flavors of ketchup and mustard on the finish.

Ok, so they do taste like hot dogs.  But, having said that, do they actually taste good?

Again, yes.  Yes they do.  I really like them.  And apparently I'm not alone in this.  I have a friend who is quite a well-known hot dog enthusiast, so I went back to the store to buy him a bag for his birthday.  To my chagrin, they had completely sold out in a matter of a few days.  Doh!  I have not seen them since, either.

Bottom line: I really liked the flavor.  If you come across them, I recommend you pounce on that bag like a ravening wolf.  A wolf draped in an American flag.  These colors don't run baby!  Aw-roooooooh! U.S.A.!  U.S.A.!  U.S.A.!

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 ghosts.

Product Review: Chili Cheese Dog Hot Pockets

My beautiful and talented wife surprised me with these goodies a few days ago.  She knows me so well, yet she continues to keep hanging around.  A word of advice for any single, male readers out there: A girl who surprises you with chili cheese dog Hot Pockets is what's known as a keeper.  Put a ring on it.  Immediately.

The first thing I noticed was the conspicuous lack of a crisping sleeve.  I couldn't believe Hot Pocket technology had advanced this far!  All I had to do was take off the plastic and chuck it in the microwave.  Talk about a great first impression!  Plus, it probably shaved a few seconds off my prep time.  Winning.

The bread shell, or "bun," was soft and chewy.  The hot dogs and chili had a nice flavor as well.  The box describes the chili sauce as containing "pork and beef patties."  Doesn't sound too appetizing, but the important thing is that it tastes delicious.

If I have one minor complaint, it is the picture on the box is a little misleading.  The pockets there seem to be near bursting with cheesy dog goodness.  However, my pocket had about an inch of space between the filling and the top of the bun. 

These are definitely my new favorite Hot Pockets flavor!

Rating: 5 out of 5 ghosts.

Product Review: Hot Buffalo Bugles

I encountered this confection at one of my favorite sources for unusual snacks: The Dollar Tree.  Yes, I shop at the Tree.   Like a boss!

I was pleasantly surprised at the flavor.  The corn flavor of the Bugle paired nicely with the spice, which was the traditional cayenne and vinegar of buffalo wings.  Decent afterburn on the finish too.

People seem to have a love-hate relationship with Bugles. Having said that, if you like Bugles, and you like spicy buffalo sauce, then this is a good snack for you.  I liked 'em, but I wouldn't pay more than a dollar for them

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 ghosts.

And yes, I put them my fingertips of course.  Duh!

(not my actual fingers. or face or hair.)

Product Review: Snyder's of Hanover Bacon Cheddar Pretzel Pieces

Is it OK to say "Happy Memorial Day" on Memorial Day?  Because, if you think about it, the point of today is to remember people who have died, so I'm not sure if I should say "happy."  But then, what should be the appropriate greeting for Memorial Day?  "Are you remembering?" or "Be sure to think on today with reverence?"  Kinda catchy.  I have a year to prepare for the next one, so I'll come up with something.

They had a few sample bags of these Snyder's of Hanover Pretzel Pieces today for $.99, so we grabbed a couple for research purposes.  The flavor wasn't bad, but... to paraphrase that old Wendy's commercial, "Where's the bacon?"

Neither my wife nor I could taste any bacon flavor.  We taste cheese, a little onion and garlic, and of course the pretzel, but no bacon.  Unfortunately for the folks at S.O.H., the only reason I purchased this product was for the bacon.

Unless we happened to catch a batch that wasn't seasoned correctly, we probably won't buy these again.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5 ghosts.