The Pursuit of Unhappyness

There's a cartoon on PBS called 'Word Girl.'  Word Girl has super powers and a sidekick monkey, but her real power is her extensive vocabulary (she hails from the planet Lexicon, after all.). An educational show, every episode teaches the kiddos a new word or two.  And at the end of every show they ask a few kids what their favorite word is and why.  So, at the end of tonight's episode we asked our 4-year-old for his favorite word.

At first, he just made up some silly gibberish words.  After we pressed him for a real word, he thought for a minute and came up with this pearl: "My favorite word is unhappy."

"My favorite word is unhappy because I like to be angry every day.  Then, I can go like this all the time," and he turned his little face into a scowl and made a ferocious growling noise.

Yep.  One of those moments where Julie and I just look at each other and laugh.  Love that kid!

Product Review: Doritos Dinamita Chile Limon

I must've accidentally wandered into the "ethnic" section of the grocery store.  This bag caught my eye, so I decided to give it a whirl.  This is how the experience went:

     1.  First chip - "Hey, they brought back Rollitos.  Awesome!"

     2.  Second chip - "Nice flavor!  I can really taste the citrus under the chile flavor."

     3.  Third chip - "OH  [poop]!!!!  THESE ARE SO HOT!!!!  I'M GOING TO DIE!!!  GIVE ME A GLASS OF MILK OR I'LL KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND!!!!"

Seriously, if you've read my previous posts, you know I like spicy.  But this was ridiculously hot.  Absurdly hot.  I wound up dipping them in a container of sour cream to cool them off a bit.  That made them tolerable enough to finish the bag.

Besides exceeding my pain threshold, the only other big complaint I had was the food coloring.  The brick colored chile powder was so thick and red, my fingernails were stained for over a week afterward.  And it ruined the sour cream too.

(not my actual fingers)

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 ghosts.

My Top 5: Basketball Teams

I don't understand why hipsters don't like sports.  It seems like that would be "tot" ironic.  Whatevs!  They just won't admit it in public.

Anyway, here's my top 5 favorite basketball teams of all time, from 5 to 1.

#5)  The 1992 Olympics "Dream Team."  - What a team.  Truly a collection of legends.  Jordan, Magic, Bird, Barkley... Enough said.

#4)  The 1989-'90 University of Nevada - Las Vegas "Runnin' Rebels."  - The best team money could buy.  Larry Johnson at center, and Coach Jerry "Tark the Shark" Tarkanian chewing his towels on the sideline.  This starting 5 could've taken on any pro team and held their own.

#3)  The 1990-'92 Portland "Trail Blazers." - What I loved about this team is that they relied on pure athleticism over skill.  It seemed as if there were only 2 plays in their playbook: put your head down and drive to the hoop, or chuck a 3 from anywhere.  Lots of heart and hustle, and lots of fun to watch.

#2)  The 1992-'93 Phoenix "Suns." - The Barkley era.  Even though they lost in 6 in the finals against Jordan's Bulls, Phoenix's playoff run was some of the best pro basketball I've ever seen.  Barkley at his career best.

#1)  The 1994-'95 Orlando "Magic." - The Magic have been my favorite team since they started in 1989.  This Magic team had Shaq, Penny, Dennis Scott, Horace Grant, and my favorite player of all time: Nick Anderson.  The '95 team made it to the NBA Finals, which is the fastest that any team has ever gone from expansion to title contender, where they lost to Houston in 4 games.  Unfortunately, Shaq took off to the Lakers soon afterward, and this talented core never got to see what they might have accomplished together.  (pay attention Dwight!)

Side note:  As I read this, I'm realizing all these teams are from the late 80's early '90's.  In other words... I'm so old! :(

Product Review: Doritos Locos Taco

For anybody who may not know, the Doritos Locos Taco is a Taco Bell taco with a shell made out of Nacho Cheese Doritos. Oh yes.

As soon as I heard that such a thing existed, I found myself thinking about it all the time, in sort of an unnatural way.  At odd times throughout the day, I would imagine how it would taste.  The nacho cheese shell. The moist beef.

Finally, finally I got try one last night.  And it was good.  So good.  It tasted exactly the way I had been imagining it.

If I have one complaint, it's that the Doritios shells are on the brittle side. I broke the first one I tried into five or six pieces effortlessly.  Fortunately, they are served in little cardboard sleeves.  I had taken the first one out of the sleeve, so for the next two I utilized them to help maintain the integrity of the shell.  That pretty much solved the problem.

Rating:  5 out of 5 ghosts.

P.S. - If anyone from Taco Bell corporate happens to read this, I DEMAND Cool Ranch Doritos tacos!!!  Not a request.

Product Review: Spicy Hawaiian Pizza Hot Pocket

At first bite, I wasn't sure how I felt about it.  The pizza sauce is sweet, and I usually enjoy more of a tang.  But then the spicy kicked in. Woooo!

The after burn turned my opinion around.  The meat toppings are forgettable, but I love spicy, so I'm now adding this flavor to my Hot Pocket rotation.  Well, as long as this limited addition lasts anyway.

Rating: 4 out of 5 ghosts.

My Top 5: Pringles

I made a little grocery store run tonight, and I picked up a canister of dill pickle flavored Pringles.  This inspired me to rank my top 5 favorite flavors, from least favorite to greatest.

So, for your pleasure...

#5)  Cheddar Cheese.  Nothing too crazy.  A solid, dependable flavor. Hard to go wrong with cheddar cheese.

#4)  Xtreme Ragin' Cajun.  Nice & spicy!

#3)  Jalapeno:  Mmm... I loves me pretty much anything jalapeno flavored.

#2)  Screamin' Dill Pickle:  If you've never tried them, they really do taste like dill pickles. I love that vinegar after burn on my tongue.

Finally, my all time favorite....

#1)  ONION BLOSSOM!!!!  So good.  And hard to find in Clearwater. I always try to snatch them up when I can find them.  The dominant flavor is horseradish, which is awesoooome.